September 5th

Mysterious fog

Lately the valley has been troubled with some strange fog covering the whole valley. A surprised research team found the source to be a happy pig being broomed.

The Rooster said: “What is the point in having a nice cosy skin protecting sandbath when you deliberate go ahead and get the sand removed afterwards?”

WAIIIIIIT

With the Lady Dog now safely arrived the word WAIIIIIT is now commonly heard around the property. The Lady Dog seems to be a little slow on the uptake, or maybe she is suffering from a bad hearing. Most likely both!

The Lady Dog say: “You know I really do my best, but it is so many really idiotic rules around here. Like: Don’t herd!!! Hello, It is so needed!!”

Catastrophe

Today the Model Cat was the victim of an awful incident. A male human had taken position in his favourite chair! Even though he was kindly asked to move, he did not butch. There were no other choice; a new chair (of the exact same type off course) had to be ordered.

The Model Cat say: “He had a sharp paw coming there!”

Big Daddy & DJ sQuil

After being told by some youngsters that they had some really hip hipmovement the pigs snuck in to the livingroom to do some research. After watching MTV the pigs are from now on known simpley as Big Daddy (previous known as the Chief Pig) and DJ sQuil (previous known as Tiny Pig).

Big Daddy asks: “Do anyone know where I can get my trotters on a fancy BIG FAT gold collar?”

Flying high!

The Spokeshen is practicing her flying skill. The skill improved highly after she found a start ramp up in the rustico, and the happy hen can now be observed flying all the way from the rustico to the back of the car. She is the only long distance flyer hen at the hill.

The Spokeshen say: “I’d love to fly even longer. If only I can find a way to get up on the roof…”

Pilota

The humans have lately been seen enjoying their new drink, invented in the honour of our late dog Pilota.

Please feel free to enjoy it yourself.

1 part Tequila

1 part Contreu

2-3 parts spumante

Stir together and poor into a glass filled with ice. Remember the official garnish (see photo).

Number of eggs today: 3

Weather Forecast

Some local fog can occur around pigs, otherwise HOT as the sun is in its normal naked self.

The Dogs recommend you to don’t run around.

Starstruck

We are sorry to inform you that due to the arrival of a V.I.H (very important human, yes they do exist. Off course they will never be as important as ME, upps ment US off course) Anyway, we hope to be back on the 27th and in the meantime, we have found some more of the Chief Pigs correspondence.

From: littlepiggies@hotmail.com
To: misspiggy@muppets.com
Subject: Starstruck
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:46:00 +0200


My dear Miss Piggy

In the immortal words of the famous pig Oscar Wild Boar: Even if we are lying with our snouts in the mud,some of us are looking at the stars.
I have been looking at the stars and seen no brighter one than you miss Piggy. Your combination of barly contained rage and mindless violence on the muppet show has never been bettered and is the high point in pig acting on the silver screen. And your presence on the screen is formidable. That you were not the chosen pig in "babe" or "Simpsons,the movie" is a shame. Hope you can send me a signed picture of yourself. I would love to get to know you better and fondle your hams so to speak so would take this oppurtunity to invite you to my my castle "Snickerboden" here in Langhe,Piemonte,Italy where we could wallow in the mud while eating truffels and drink Moscato served us be my trusty servant Idar.
But let me first introduce myself. My name is EMIL and it is me on the right of the picture. I live as i said in a big castle and have also a large amount of land where i have humans working for me. Living in the castle with me is my servant which is also in the picture. He is also my stunt double, yes stunt double. I belive that the time has come for a black pig to make it big on the silver screen and am immodest enough to belive that i am the one. Se myself mostly as a character player, but action might be better as a starter since i still have not learned to sit on command. The only thing i will not do is to play whitepig or to shave. Commercials is also good, but not for barbeque sauce. As a sideline i have decided to rent out my stunt double for pigstunts under the motto "you pay,he pray". Trust you will show my picture and resume to your agent and seeing forward to meet you in Hollywood.

Your starstruck

Baron EMIL Von Lønnberget und Snickerboden Antonsen Johansen




From: littlepiggies@hotmail.com
To: misspiggy@muppet.com
Subject: RE: Starstruck
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:01:31 +0200


Dear Ms Piggy

Would like to thank you for the nice picture you sent me, you would not have a more up to date picture to send me as well?
I am off course aware that during your time in the muppet show you had an affair with Kermit the frog but did not know you still are together with him. An affair in Hollywood normally does not last. I am delighted to hear that this years tadpoles are doing great. But would like to point out the thing about frogs, namely that they are good. To eat that is. You know it makes sense and i am sure you can feel the taste of freshly prepared frog in your mouth, they taste like chicken you know. Are you by the way sure you have sent my picture to your agent? I have not heard anything from him which is strange. Seeing forward to meet you in Hollywood.

Your faithful

Baron EMIL Von Lønnberget und Snickerboden Antonsen Johansen




From: littlepiggies@hotmail.com
To: misspiggy@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Starstruck
Date: Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:40:34 +0200


Ms Piggy Frog

There is no need to get personal. Those words you used in your mail to me hurt you know. And only because i suggested you should get to know your husband better. Will also point out that you are grammatical wrong when you write that you would like to se me ON the table on Christmas day, you off course mean AT the table. As i still have not heard from your agent i do not belive you will have the pleasure. And I am not gay. I do live together with another pig but as i have pointed out , he is my servant and it a practical solution. I do in fact have a girlfriend and the fact that she is a bitch does not in any way diminish our relationship. Not that there is anything wrong in being gay, no lesser pig than Porky Pig was openly gay as early as the 40´s and look at his career. Even if he was badly treated by Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck his talent shone through until that fateful barbeque. In fact looking at his career it seems more and more that your 15 minutes in the limelight was just that. Having looked at some old episodes of the Muppet show i can tell you that your acting is past it´s sell by date. And looking at the more resent picture you sent me, so are you. Your chops would only be sold at a discount shop. And your Eisbein would not have sold to a drunken Australian during Octoberfest in Munich. And where is the Bacon??? Only in Hollywood would an actress remove all the fat from their body. Did Disney make you do that when they bought the Muppet show? We pigs in the real world like to se some insulation on a pig you know. Do you by the way have any addresses for agents other than your own?

Emil

Complaints

To celebrate that "Latest News By TamTam" now have more than 1000 visitors I have decided to give you a very special treat.
So here you go! This is some corrospodance we found after the Chief Pig was not satisfied with the service around here.

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi@hotmail.com
Subject: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:09:17 +0200


Dear Mr Emil Antonsen Johansen

It is with great concern we here at A.N.P.A(associazione nationale protezione animali e dell´ambiente) have received regarding your living conditions in Langhe. The story of how you were tricked from the far East with promise of much food and big swimming pool is a well known one. It is not unknown for us that many from the far East is kept as virtual slaves after being tricked in similar ways. We take this very seriously and will inspect your arrangement with your human slavekeepers.

Yours truly

Sorly Missed

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi @hotmail.com
Subject: RE: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:18:24 +0200


Mr Emil Von Antonsen Johansen

Have just come back from inspecting your living quarters and conditions and interviewing others living there as well. There seems to be some inconsistencies in your story. To start with where you came from, the Asti province is not the far East no matter what you might think. As for the swimming pool, the humans feeding you said you came in a catbox and that the swimming pool was big enough until you got as big as you are now. We also like to remind you that you have a place where you can wallow in the mud. We here at A.N.P.A belive you get enough food and that living conditions are good enough for you and consider this case closed.

Best regards

Sorly Missed

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi @hotmail.com
Subject: RE: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:06:45 +0200


Sir Emil Von Lønnberget Antonsen Johansen

We here at A.N.P.A consider your case closed. Your story that you have a medical problem that makes you "big" and that you never eat anything is we believe what is legally known as a lie. During our inspection of your home we interviewed the other animals living with you and a totally different story came out. One anonymous pig who said his name was Idar said you were stealing his food and that was the reason he never gets big and by the way, the swimming pool was more than big enough for him. Another animal who likes to be identified only as TT said: He might not eat much, but he certainly eats everything else. he steals my food all the time, he steals everyones food all the time. And in between meals he eats grass. And the "washing" in the pool? Everyone knows that to get cleaned you need to use your tongue not wallow in your own dirt. He acts like a pig and eats like a pig, the great fat b*****d. And they still call ME fat. Other comments from the other range from " applesauce", " where is my food", "voff" to for some reason "perch up". Based on this evidence we can safely say that you are indeed a great fat b*****d.

No regards

Sorly missed

---

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi@hotmail.com
Subject: FW: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:20:39 +0200


lord Emil von Lønnberget und Snickerboden

Im am sorry to inform you that Mr Sorly Missed can not be on your case, which anyway is closed. Mr Missed is missing and was last seen hunted by a great fat b*****d of a pig. Dirty it was as well. Furthermore please be aware that the language you are using in your mails are not the one normally used in mails and that great offence is taken here in the office. Any more threatening mails from you and you will know where the apple will go. Will see forward to never hear from you again.

Absolutely without any regards whatsoever

Coss Anobel Bobo
A.N.P.A Barbeque division

---

August 20th

Spider too

According to Spider United we are in great need of their help, so they sent a new spider to help with the hunting. A big one! Soon we will have more spiders than mosquitoes; we guess that is a good thing.

The Model Cat says: “What a show off!”

Helping around the house

The Model Cat was this morning observed helping with the housework. He had taken upon himself to control if the freshly washed blankets really was dry enough to be carried inside, and when he does something he does it properly, with out any thought for his own well being.

The Model Cat says: “I am sure, I can still feel a bit of moist here, I let you know when they are ready.”

Waiting for the Lady

Last day we where hoping that The Lady Dog should move in with us. Unfortunately she got delayed and has still not moved in. The Dog took this really bad, but ha is putting on a brave face, and hope that tomorrow will be the day. He is tired of waiting.

The Dog says: “you know the cats, pigs and hens are wonderful to me, but I need a fellow dog by my side.”

New bathtub wanted

To small pigs is in search of a non-shrinking bathtub. This is an urgent matter as a bathing dog is soon to arrive.

The Tiny Pig Said: “It is actually big enough for me, I am only being supportive.”

Pig School

Lately the Chief Pig is having some problems with his training. He refuses to sit on command. In the mean time the Tiny Pig is sitting and sitting and sitting and sitting some more, and eating his rewards.

The Chief Pig says: “I really don’t get the importance of this sitting thing. I don’t like it, and I do so much other things, like lie down, shake a throtter, oh yes I come when I am called at and also when I am not called at.”

Numbers of eggs today: 3

Weather Forecast

Incredible hot. A new day with 35 an up is likely to occur.

The Dog recommends you to be patient, stay in coolest place you know and try to get some water.

August 18th

Strollers

Now that the rooster has reached adulthood, he has starting to charm his ladies. He likes to take each and everyone of them on private strolls around the property, and he makes sure they all feel special.

The Spokeshen said: “He is an amazing rooster. While the Neighbour Rooster only goes about bragging about how “cool” he is, our Rooster understands that some days unfortunately are bad feather days, and that we than need just a little bit of extra support and understanding.”

Birds

While on the road yesterday, the Car had to stop for a Pheasant crossing the road. This beautiful female did not seem to be in any hurry, so the car just had to wait. Suddenly 2 small birds appeared from behind the car. The Mother Pheasant than went after the kids and got them safely into the undergrowth.

It all went so fast, so we did not get any photographic evidence of their existence, but we did manage to get one of the very caring mom.

The Dog said: “As a possible father to be, I was so worried when I saw the kids crossing the road. Luckily the Mother seemed to be in total control.”

Resting in the water

During yesterdays visit to meet the Lady Dog, she as normally insisted to take a rest in the river. Strangely enough she was not the only one who enjoyed this incredible strange behaviour; she was kept accompanied by a very small toad.

The Lady Dog said: “Jeeze; copycats are everywhere!”

Spider

In this home there are several good hunters. Not the Dog off course, but even the pigs many to hunt down a moth every now and then. Still, there is some not so welcome insect living around here, so we have for the time being hired a spider to help.

The Tiny Pig said: “I prefer to hunt tomatoes, nuts, potatoes, cherries, carrots, apples, peaches, eggs, corn, Hey I am not finished here!”

The Chief Cat said: “I think they got the hint Tiny Pig!”

A helping paw

The other day The Dogs friend The Big Huge Dog was having a lot of humans over, and was in need of The Dogs help and support in keeping these humans under controll. Being his incredible nice and helpful self The Dog immediately ordered a car and urged over to help his friend in need. Together the 2 friends had no problems controlling the herds from their control centre under the table.

The Big Huge Dog said: “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you my friend!”

Number of eggs today: 3

Weather forecast

The usual! Hot hot hot!

The Dog recommends you to stay calm and not waste your energy.