Complaints

To celebrate that "Latest News By TamTam" now have more than 1000 visitors I have decided to give you a very special treat.
So here you go! This is some corrospodance we found after the Chief Pig was not satisfied with the service around here.

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi@hotmail.com
Subject: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:09:17 +0200


Dear Mr Emil Antonsen Johansen

It is with great concern we here at A.N.P.A(associazione nationale protezione animali e dell´ambiente) have received regarding your living conditions in Langhe. The story of how you were tricked from the far East with promise of much food and big swimming pool is a well known one. It is not unknown for us that many from the far East is kept as virtual slaves after being tricked in similar ways. We take this very seriously and will inspect your arrangement with your human slavekeepers.

Yours truly

Sorly Missed

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi @hotmail.com
Subject: RE: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:18:24 +0200


Mr Emil Von Antonsen Johansen

Have just come back from inspecting your living quarters and conditions and interviewing others living there as well. There seems to be some inconsistencies in your story. To start with where you came from, the Asti province is not the far East no matter what you might think. As for the swimming pool, the humans feeding you said you came in a catbox and that the swimming pool was big enough until you got as big as you are now. We also like to remind you that you have a place where you can wallow in the mud. We here at A.N.P.A belive you get enough food and that living conditions are good enough for you and consider this case closed.

Best regards

Sorly Missed

From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi @hotmail.com
Subject: RE: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:06:45 +0200


Sir Emil Von Lønnberget Antonsen Johansen

We here at A.N.P.A consider your case closed. Your story that you have a medical problem that makes you "big" and that you never eat anything is we believe what is legally known as a lie. During our inspection of your home we interviewed the other animals living with you and a totally different story came out. One anonymous pig who said his name was Idar said you were stealing his food and that was the reason he never gets big and by the way, the swimming pool was more than big enough for him. Another animal who likes to be identified only as TT said: He might not eat much, but he certainly eats everything else. he steals my food all the time, he steals everyones food all the time. And in between meals he eats grass. And the "washing" in the pool? Everyone knows that to get cleaned you need to use your tongue not wallow in your own dirt. He acts like a pig and eats like a pig, the great fat b*****d. And they still call ME fat. Other comments from the other range from " applesauce", " where is my food", "voff" to for some reason "perch up". Based on this evidence we can safely say that you are indeed a great fat b*****d.

No regards

Sorly missed

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From: ANPA@hotmail.com
To: minnipiggi@hotmail.com
Subject: FW: re. Your complaint regarding small swimming pool
Date: Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:20:39 +0200


lord Emil von Lønnberget und Snickerboden

Im am sorry to inform you that Mr Sorly Missed can not be on your case, which anyway is closed. Mr Missed is missing and was last seen hunted by a great fat b*****d of a pig. Dirty it was as well. Furthermore please be aware that the language you are using in your mails are not the one normally used in mails and that great offence is taken here in the office. Any more threatening mails from you and you will know where the apple will go. Will see forward to never hear from you again.

Absolutely without any regards whatsoever

Coss Anobel Bobo
A.N.P.A Barbeque division

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